Crack Kills

January 29, 2006 • Magazine

Crack Kills

Crack Kills

Tue, 2006-01-31 01:00

Lauren Dimet

I have something really deep to discuss. I know this is a topic that has been discussed at nauseam. I was hoping that higher waist lines were going to catch on this fall. So why are we still seeing underwear or the lack thereof? There is a line that runs from the very small of one’s back to the area where the sun doesn’t shine. A line that should NEVER be crossed. I know I am not alone when I say, I am just NOT interested in looking at cracks of women’s butts every day. I’m not old, I’m not unfashionable and I’m not a prude. I just want to enjoy my dinner without losing my appetite. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a beautiful posterior just as much as the next person, but I am all about presentation.

Nor do I want to see your whale tail. You know, the effect that happens when a woman’s thong underwear becomes exposed as she walks, bends over, squats or sits? It’s just gross and offensive. When did this become fashionable? More importantly…why?

This movement was propelled in part by Hollywood and in part by bad taste. Am I the only one who remembers laughing uproariously with my high school girlfriends at the sight of a plumber’s rear end? The sad truth is it’s not just 21 year-olds embracing this look. There are plenty of middle-aged women attempting to dress like today’s teens.

Personally, I find visible thongs tacky, especially when they are blatantly yanked up, grazing the edge of the last rib or worse…exposing a tattoo. But what really gets me is that even our nether regions have turned into yet one more form of advertising.

Here are a few don’ts when wearing low-rise clothing:
• Don’t wear granny panties with low-rise pants.
• Don’t wear your thong like an accessory. Nobody wants to see it.
• Don’t wear a short top with your low-rise pants.
• Please make sure you invest in low-rise undergarments.

Here are some we like:

Cosabella: Soire low rise thong $17
Hanky Panky: Stretch Lace low rise thong $18
Felina: Divine low rise thong $16
Gossard: SuperSmooth thong (was $19.00) sale $9.50

Remember, just say no to crack.


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