I think this week can be boiled down to one of my favorite Tim Gunnisms…"Grandma Jezebel." What is that you ask? A Grandma Jezebel is a woman who thinks (or wants to believe) she is much younger than her years and renders herself a fashion victim trying to dress like her teenage daughter or worse yet…granddaughter. Basically it’s a woman who refuses to age gracefully.
Comment: Fosse! If you think the side view is bad, you should see the total front-on view. Can you say ‘camel toe’? At some point you have to embrace the fact that you are no longer 27 and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing (especially to those of us who are). Come on, she is smoking! Better yet…smoking and 49! This outfit is a bad thing and just makes her look older. It ain’t Halston. I’m just wondering where her leg warmers and jazz hands are.
She’s thinking: Jane Fonda, eat your heart out!
Comment: Where are her pants? Seriously. Where is the rest of this outfit? The shoes are too matchy-matchy and the ankle strap just draws even more attention to the fact that her pants/skirt are missing.
She’s thinking: Please hurry up. I feel like I forgot something…I’m not very comfortable in this.
Comment: Speed Racer! This dress is on fire. Or I wish it were. Normally I think Kelly dresses pretty well so we are going to assume she had a momentary loss of style and leave it at that.
She’s thinking: Wall Street could use a little pizazz and this dress da bomb!
Comment: Here we have the reverse problem. This dress is too old for her. Not only it the print just plain awful, the dress is too long. She’s young…show a little skin. This is a case of where wearing something off the rack is not a good idea. Remember, if you don’t know a good tailor, find one.
She’s thinking: Why am I here on Wall Street? What do they actually do here?
Comment: We get it, you dance. You have a slamming bod. Yep. We got that. Fact is, she is too old to be showing this much ab. So what if you spend 4 hours a day at the gym? Unless you are 18, keep it covered please. So tacky. So are jeans on a red carpet.
She’s thinking: Is my face turning red? I literally can not exhale.
Comment: Oy. This is a mess from head to toe. Again, this woman is too old to be dressed like she is going to the prom. Even though Riley might not admit it we know she’s over 40 so this look is just amiss. The color drowns her and at the very least she should have worn an updo. The shoes again, are all wrong for the dress. Oh forget it. Lost cause.
She’s thinking: I am 41 going on 17…
Comment: What the heck is this (she says slapping her hand to her forehead)? Let me see if I have this straight…furry boots in L.A., shorts, a silk negligee top and a shawl pashmina thing. Oh and tattoos, let’s not forget those! How can we? I give up.
She’s thinking: I have about an inch to spare on this forearm so I’m booking for another tatt tomorrow!
Photos: WireImageSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40