We know, we get it!!! The ‘7th on Sale’ gala event at the 69th Armory in NYC
is your time to shine in the fashion department. You’ve already donated to the sample sale and most people would kill to have your designer duds. So make sure they notice you!
Because you’re a celeb, you and you must make the
most of this moment—its your chance to wear funky fashions, frou-frou gowns or sleek designs,
take fashion risks, and show the world why you get dibs on the newest $1000 Fendi
bag or why Roberto Cavalli personally gifted you with his animal print sheath, the one he designed specifically in your honor.
We saw our favorite fashion icons and followed a few
burgeoning fashionistas. Unfortunately,
this year’s event turned into lots of fashion forwards but too many fashion no-nos.
Comment: We love Kate Moss. She’s usually a fashion winner. Not in this case. Though we applaud her juxtaposition of dressy blazer and satin, she looks a little too wrinkled for our lush haute couture taste. Sorry Kate, this Top Shop ensemble makes your waif-like physique look swallowed up in your very own clothes and its a little too frumpy for luxe black-tie event.
What she’s thinking: I’m Kate Moss, I’m a fashion icon, I can hang out with a drugged up Pete Dougherty and fringe up my messy bedhead hair and I most certainly can wear whatever I want and people will love it!
Comment: Yes, Naomi we like that you’re trying to be a fashion risk taker. We appreciate the black tulle gown with the gold underly–but did you really have to mess it up with the feather throw on? Not only does it cover up your beautiful enlongated neck but it definitely cheapens the outfit look.
What she’s thinking: I’m Naomi Campbell, I can get angry, I can throw Swarovski crystal-encrusted phones at my housekeeper and I can most certainly can wear a feather duster around my neck!
Comment: We know the flamboyant star who stole our hearts with Wind Beneath My Wings is not—gasp!—62 years old–but did she have to show it?? We like the silver blazer and skirt suit ensemble but the wrinkled look makes her look more frumpy grandma then giddy glamazon.
What she’s thinking: I’m Bette Midler, I’m over 60, and I’m hot! I’m here with tons of fashionistas, I’m twice their age, and I may look like their matronly Jewish bubbe (and dress like it too, unfortunately.) But you wish you still wish you were me…
Comment: Oh Parker, Parker, Parker…you need to comb your hair before you go out to these events! You need to keep yourself from looking like that–ahem–call girl that shows up on your doorstep in just a trench and nothing else. And if you’re going to wear that trench trend–please please wear a fun, bright color like a green or a pink, not drab mauve/brown. At least your white purse pops!
What she’s thinking: I’m Parker Posey, I didn’t really want to come, I prefer slumming at home and staying in bed–or at least making it look like I just threw something on–because I don’t really care about these hoity-toity functions, except to show my face so people won’t forget about me. Did I do a good job?
Comment: Nicole is certainly one of those fashion forward people–but we’re just not buying this gold and black streaked criss-crossed halter top gown. It’s just too much–the bubble hem is strange, it doesn’t go well against her red hair and its something Paris Hilton would wear–NOT Nicole Miller. We know she’s going for that fashionable youthful look but is this a middle age crisis?
What she’s thinking: I’m Nicole Miller, I design great clothes and I wear them well. I can wear whatever I want and I will–even it looks like a bit like I’m trying too hard…
Comment: Look, Mr. Ralph Lauren, we really respect your work, but somehow, we think that being a top-notch American designer means you should dress appropriately. I mean, Valentino, Gucci, Oscar de la Renta–we always see them in the most designer suits looking chic and stylish but well put together. So please, Mr. Lauren, lose the velvet button down blazer and those ugly leather boots. And please tell your wife Ricky wearing a gawdy outfit to match your husband’s footwear is just not in!
What he’s thinking: I’m Mr. Ralph Lauren, I could wear a potato sack and still look sharp…
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