Sorry, I have been asleep behind the wheel. "Dancing with the Stars" provided some great material, but that’s just too easy. See below for this week’s fashion mishaps.
Comment: Do I really need to explain why this outfit is horrid? I mean really. It’s a mix of a 70’s housecoat and a baby doll dress. In fact, I think my parents had wallpaper in our house back in the early 70’s that was close to this color and pattern schematic. Yuck. The brown stockings and brown boots (trust me they are there) are just making this worse. She looks too old to even try to pull this off. Her hair and makeup are screaming for another, more flattering outfit
She’s thinking: I can’t believe I can’t even sit in this dress. Otherwise I will be pulling a full-on Britney.
Comment: I know this girl is tiny, but this outfit only exaggerates that fact. She looks all of 3’2" in this picture. Everybody else at this event managed to look rocking good in their Calvin’s. Too bad she took the lazy way out. We expect better from our Full House Fashionista!
She’s thinking: I think my skirt is about to fall down. Whatever, Dude. I’m worth multiple millions and you’re not.
Comment: It’s never a good idea to wear roadkill. Though the belt is a nice
touch try, this vest screams "CAVEMAN"! I love the exposed arm tattoo though, god forbid there is a shirt under this vest, she’d boil to death! Don’t even get me started on the heels on the boots. They are just wrong! Her stylist needs to be fired. Fast!
She’s thinking: It’s 55 degrees in Manhattan today. I’m burning up! Get me some ice water!
Comment: I had to do a double-take because I couldn’t believe Paula Abdul could look this good. In fact, she doesn’t really look like herself. Even her face looks different/better/fuller. She normally looks like hell so she is on this list because we are convinced she had a momentary loss of bad fashion taste judgement. We are not foolish enough to believe it will last. Kudos be lucid enough to pull this off though. Bravo! Then again, I’m a sucker for gunmetal.
She’s thinking: Simon! Come on Simon. Where are you? (OK, I stole that from Kathy Griffin’s "Straight to Hell" on BravoTV, which was hysterical!)
Comment: For the love of God! Do we really have to see that? He is in way over his head. He’s a dead man, for sure. In fact, her boob is in way over his head.
She’s thinking: I’m just counting the days until he kicks.
Comment: OK, it’s just a tree lighting ceremony, but obviously even that was a photo op. So it’s not really a good time to wear every hot trend of the moment…at once! It’s a trend overload. Separately, there are some great pieces here. Together, they are a mess. Let’s list the trends shall we? Grey tights, check. Cropped leather biker jacket, check. Silver bag, check. Wool hat, check. Tie-dye dress….er, what? The grey tights just do not match anything and are not doing it for me.
She’s thinking: Wait. Of all the stuff I threw on, I forgot to wear any Stella! Shit!
– Lauren Dimet Waters
Photos: WireImageSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40