Project Runway Season Four. Episode Five: Welcome Back & Sweet Merciful Crap. Memorable Quotes.

December 13, 2007 • Lifestyle


Well, let’s just start by saying that you had to be a friggin’ idiot not to know that Jack was leaving due to an illness (staph infection) before the show even aired. Bravo did a bang-up, spectacular job keeping that secret. NOT! Of course we were bummed because a) Jack was hot and b) Jack was talented. However, his health was/is more important than the show and fame. I give him credit for handling the situation with grace (and some tears). It was surprising and refreshing to see someone beside Ricky crying (although he didn’t let us down and sobbed in this episode too – take a drink!). Besides, Jack’s OK which is evidenced by this fabulously gay Flashdance performance (click here). Love

Thankfully the judges redeemed themselves this week and brought Chris back after Jack’s early exit (like you couldn’t figure out who was going to walk through the door). Bravo is really treating us all like super morons to which I am beginning to take offense. I digress. Yeah! Chris is back. We can all laugh again. I’m sure he was glad to see he was so missed. (This group seems to genuinely like each other).

In a nutshell, the challenge (which was one of my favorites to date) was for the designers to make a new banging look for their model out of clothes that they loved when they were considerably larger. All the guest models were everyday women who had lost a considerable amount of weight (at least 50 lbs). Now when I lose weight the last thing I want to wear or be reminded of are my fat clothes, but what do I know? Each designer had to express their point of view while reflecting their client’s every day life.

Sadly, Steven drew the massive, hideous wedding dress. I knew he was a goner before the show even continued. He was doomed. As the most conservative designer of the bunch, he was totally derailed by the poor quality fabric which proved to be his undoing.

Last week’s winner, Jillian, basically cheated and bought all new fabric in the same color and made a smokin’ dress. Chris made a sailor costume for Jack’s his model. Kevin made his model feel gorgeous. Elise designed a layered Eileen Fisher looking get-up which is the last thing a newly svelte woman wants to wear. Christian actually made something that not only his client loved, but that I would love. He was the clear winner (Lord save us all from his now vindicated, but bruised little ego).

The guest judge was Patrick Robinson (head to designer for Gap) and the all unanimously agreed that Steven must go. Boo.

One more thing, Tim Gunn is back to blogging now that his show has wrapped. We love his wrap-up posts on the episodes. Check Tim’s Take on BravoTV. We will miss Steven’s awesome dry one-liners. Thankfully, Michael Kors was on fire this week! Read on!

Christian’s Winner

Kevin’s design

Elise’s Fug

Chris’ costume


Steven’s matronly loser (Sorry Chicago!)

Memorable Quotes:

"I got my collagen injection." – Jack about his inflated lip from his staph infection

"Wait, I don’t know any of these women." – Steven about the models

"I was like holy shit. I’m going to die. This is so not me at all" – Christian about the challenge

"Oh Dear Lord, I got picked for the wedding dress. It felt like death on a stick." – Steven

"I was like game on! I love making clothes for real people." – Kevin

"It’s ten yards of white polyester fabric with a considerable amount sequins and  beading and covered in acetate lace. Dear God help me now." – Steven (knowing even God couldn’t help him.

"I’ve been on every diet known to man. I’ve lost so much weight. 1500 pounds." – Chris

"If Nina starts giving me trouble, I swear." – Steven to Tim Gunn

"I’ve made more bad decisions at 3 in the morning then I can list!" – Tim Gunn

"Don’t these bitches know I’m way better than them?" – Christian

"Sweet merciful crap!" – Steven

"Panic is fun. Especially when you are already panicked. I am pretty sick to my stomach." – Steven

"I don’t know about chopping someone up unless they are 5’11"." – Michael Kors about Elise’s design

"You went from a wedding to a funeral." -Nina Garcia about Steven’s design

"…Or a French maid at a funeral." – Michael Kors about Steven’s design

"It’s a little Shirley McClaine when she played a hooker with a heart of gold." – Michael Kors

"She was loving herself and isn’t that what fashion’s all about?" – Michael Kors

"She needed a feather duster." – Micheal Kors about Steven’s French maid design.

"That was so Paris hooker 50’s." – Michael Kors

For all you die-hards, don’t forget to check out Blogging Project Runway!

– Lauren Dimet Waters

Photos: BravoTV

See the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to Project Runway Season Four. Episode Five: Welcome Back & Sweet Merciful Crap. Memorable Quotes.

  1. Moi ;) says:

    OMG – Sweet Merciful Crap – I I totally forgot about it as well as some of the other lines. That’s a great list of quotes!

Leave a Reply