Before the Oscars begin…we are just practicing for the real deal Sunday night. This is our warm up. There was lots of bad celebrity fashion this week. In fact, it was hard to narrow them down. But these were our favorites!
Comment: We give her major props for losing weight and/or the lipo, but this dress just accentuates the fact she is larger on top than she is on the bottom. We call this being triangle shaped and some of us can relate (me). Her girls are struggling for air and look like they may try to break free! Remember to accentuate the positive but camouflage the negative. You dig?
She’s thinking: I’m Shar Jackson bitch!
Comment: Granted this is a Candie’s campaign so we don’t expect great fashion, but we also don’t expect this. The dress looks like it might have been from the Candie’s clothing line circa 1983. A summer weight dress with heavy dark suede boots is never a good idea. Don’t mix seasons. Even in L.A.
She’s thinking: How did she get this gig? Why not me?
Comment: Where do we begin? Yes, she is gorgeous, but her looks still don’t hide the fact this entire outfit is the worst! The wrinkled silk dress with a bad belt over black opaques and open-toed-booties? By the way, we hate open-toe-booties. They are just dumb. Her
flask handbag doesn’t match either. We like models who have a quirky sense of style, but this is just crazy. Thankfully she has the runway, but she needs a stylist. Fast.
She’s thinking: I’m so freaking hot….and skinny. So I can wear whatever I want. Eat that!
Summary: OK, we admit we had no idea who she was until we spotted this horrid green leather dress. Tank God for Google! Not only is this dress seriously ugly, she wore it to two more events that same evening so there are pictures…everywhere! P.S. we also hate her choice of shoes.
She’s thinking: Hey green is the color of money and I love me lots of money!
Comment: Aside from the fact her bra is just hanging out for the world to see, this outfit is just not friendly to anyone over 100 lbs and under 5’8". Then again who are we kidding? Like she gives a damn. Is that a nicotine patch tucked under her left bra cup? Yeesch!
She’s thinking: Oh my God! I think I forgot to go commando! So I have panty lines? Here, hold my cupcake.
Comment: Shiny silk in a drab color? Hmmm, not so much. This reminds us of one of those outfits towards the back of the Spiegel catalog. You know when the clothes start to get progressively cheesy? They start out not so great and then slowly morph into Dolly Parton lace, denim and silk numbers. It’s just bad. Hey if you are going to walk a red carpet (or in this case a beige one) then spend a little money on your outfit and/or get a stylist.
She’s thinking: It’s not easy being beige. And everyone else her looks so galm and amazing. Damn.
Comment: We know first hand that Chicago is a casual city. But, don’t think you don’t at least have to try! Your semi-famous for being Jessica’s sister and dating what’s-his- face (the dude that wears eyeliner)….oh and lip syncing on SNL….but just because it’s cold as hell in Chicago, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put some effort into looking good. Also, we are not feeling the red hair. At all!
She’s thinking: When can I get out of this cold as sh*t city?