The Tribeca Film Festival brings out indie stars and wannabes alike, making liberated fashion choices that frankly frighten us at SCS.
Comment: Fake hair is just never a good basis for an outfit. When the idea is, ‘this gown will look great with my weave’–take a step back and reevaluate your priorities. This white dress makes her look like she’s graduating from an all girls’ prep school, not attending a premiere event in NYC. At least the guy on the bike behind her seems to be liking it though…
She’s thinking: Do these extensions make me look like a young version of my sexy mom while hiding my dad’s enormous chin? Yeah? Then, who cares what boring dress I’m wearing!!
Comment: Okay girls, we know you are twins, but let’s not dress like it’s a naughty-and-nice theme party. Didn’t you learn anything about dressing and posing to hide your awkward, lanky frames on America’s Next Top Model? The Grecian-gone-wrong frock on Twin 1 swamps the poor girl and does nothing for her figure, while Twin 2 is better but boring in head-to-toe matte black.
They’re thinking: Tyra said we were models so it must be true, right?!
Comment: We don’t know who you are or why you were at this premiere, but we just love that you matched your lipstick to your exposed bra. Since Victoria’s Secret already has a bunch of legal issues, we’re gonna go ahead and sue them, too, for selling this brassiere and control-top panty combo to you.
She’s thinking: This kung-fu pose is really going to highlight how my bangles match my bra! I’m soooo rock’n’roll!
Actress Joey Lauren Adams at the Tribeca Trucker Premiere
Comment: Whoa, girl. You look like that embarrassing hippie-dippy mom that drove carpool once a week when we were in junior high. The pleated wide-leg trouser is something that should only be worn by models who are approximately 8 feet tall, and never in khaki. Is that scarf a souvenir from your trip to Bhutan? Great, keep it at home, with your scrapbook and travel journal.
She’s thinking: Remember when I wore this same outfit in Dazed and Confused? I’m still cute, right?
Comment: We knew there’d be some funny outfits at this comedy’s premiere, but this was more than we bargained for. Just because you are going to a movie called Baby Mama doesn’t mean that you can channel Jamie Lynn Spears as your outfit’s inspiration. Denim cut off skirt, with faux-laced cami, and folded down cowboy boots? If this is a Jamie Lynn joke, it’s a hilarious one, but we’re afraid it’s not.
She’s thinking: This outfit could probably get me Knocked Up! I could be the next Juno!
– Hayley Wells
Photos: WireImage.comSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40