So it was hard to catch Project Runway this past week, due to all the glamorous duties and packed schedule of a Fashion Week attendee. No, wait… that’s a total lie. It’s actually just hard to stay awake on the couch during Project Runway when you’ve been standing on the cobble stones of Bryant Park all day in heels. So finally… here we go!
This week, the designers got to do what is usually the most fun challenge of every season– the avant garde. This brought us Christian and Chris March‘s beautiful high-collared blush organza number last season, for instance. So why, oh why, did this season’s designers suck all the fun out of this challenge? Especially when they had the bonus of using astrological signs as inspiration? The colors, fabrics, and proportion that allows you to use is unlimited and should have unfenced all of their creativity. Instead, many of the looks hardly even seemed avant garde at all (Suede!). And some didn’t make it a step away from the totally expected interpretation… like Korto’s water-dress for Aquarius. I mean, hello… Duh. Maybe at this halfway point, the designers are tired. After all, Kenley did spend the entire previous episode in tears over DVF, and this episode in a rage of full-on denial and indignant obstinence. And Terri practically imploded over this week’s design challenge, too. Blayne proved that he had learned nothing about how to please the judges, and I don’t know if that makes me wildly happy or super critical of the tan fellow. Or maybe they all were having problems juggling their new, previously eliminated assistants… but it seems like an extra pair of hands could only be beneficial.
The saving grace of the episode was seeing past seasons’ designers make their return. Allison! Robert! Kara! Christian! Jay! It was almost too much to stand. It makes me ask, for what is probably the 100th time, when is the all-star season of PR? Can we at least get an all-star one time challenge, kind of like Top Chef did, for charity? Or just a reunion where we get to hear the former contestants try to out-quip and out-queen each other? I might continue to watch PR on Lifetime if they produce one of those options. Anyway, back to the show at hand. The former designers got to pick the winner, who would not find out they were favored by their fashion brethren until the runway show.
So, at the runway, who did the judges–joined by the venerable Francisco Costa— choose as in and out? Well, Jerrell was the winner. Of the challenge, and of the best personality award. Honestly, he is the only character on the show (and I do mean character) who doesn’t make me batsh*t crazy or totally bored at some point. He was the favorite of the judges, of the former contestants, of my humble self, and I am guessing he’ll go on to be fan favorite to boot. On the loosing end of the double elimination were Terri and Blayne. Terri should have gone, certainly, even if for attitude alone. Blayne, on the other hand, could have been swapped for Suede and I wouldn’t have cared a bit. Their two designs were on opposite ends of the crap spectrum (Blayne on the crazy side, Suede on the boring side), but crap they both indeed were. The best thing that possibly could have happened to make this kinda sedated episode better? If Suede’s avant-garde outfit had been a tribute/spoof to Jerry Tam’s first losing look… American Psycho Rainwear Chic. Now that would have been hilarious.
Jerrell’s winning look, and Blayne’s and Terri’s losing looks
Check out the Memorable Quotes of the episode below, and see a review of the remaining six’s Bryant Park shows here.
The witch is dead, the witch is dead. Peace out Stella. – Terri
Did you have any dreams? – Blayne to Suede
I dreamt we all had to make sweetheart neckline dresses out of chiffon and Pop Tarts. – Suede
Were you drinking? – Blayne to Suede
If I’m paired with Keith it’s not going to be pretty. – Terri
Barbarella! – Blayne to Stella
Just be gentle with me right now I’m kinda fragile. – Keith to Terri
Maybe he can count the pins that fall on the floor. – Terri (karma’s a bitch!)
Do it to it. – Tim Gunn
It’s like you took a school marm’s old winter coat and tried to turn it into a couture dress. – Tim Gunn to Jerell
There is a a fine line between avant garde and costume. – Tim Gunn
Don’t call me darlin’. – Terri to Keith
We gotta bust this shit out. – Blayne
I’m not going to stand here looking like a fool because she’s an angry, bitter person. – Keith about Terri (word).
The only thing I expect is the unexpected. – Jerrell
If Heidi’s talking nonsense I’m going to step in and set her straight. – Kenley
It’s the dawning of the age of Aquarius? – Jay
I don’t find the color very attractive. It reminds me of old granny panties. – Heidi Klum to Blayne
Think outside the box Heidi. – Blayne in response
My model doesn’t have boobs. I had to stuff her. – Kenley
What you want me to hammer your head now too? – Stella to Blayne
It makes Suede really, really sad two people are going home. – Blayne
I think Kenley’s (design) is truly Mickey Mouse. – Joe
I mean come on! She’s pooping fabric! – Michael Kors about Blayne’s design
She’s just kinda like a voodoo princess in hell. It’s like the taste just all of a sudden flew out the window.– Michael Kors to Terri
Quite honestly it’s kinda Dolce and Gabbana on the bottom and Viktor and Rolf going on on the top. In a weird way I don’t find it that shocking. Honestly Kenley. Avant garde means something we haven’t seen. – Michael Kors
It really was a disaster. That wasn’t avant garde, it was just ridiculous. It was a fashion joke. – Michael Kors about Blayne’s design
Ew. That’s bad. But true. – Heidi Klum in response
He’s talking about himself like a grand couturier "and Suede would want." Excuse me, you are certainly not ready for this third person lingo. I think there is a lot of delusion happening today. – Michael Kors about Suede
Bye guys. Love your faces. – Blayne
I’m about to rule the world so better keep your eye out. – Blayne
– Hayley Wells
Photos: BravoTV.comSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40