Like a gift from the Gods, my prayers were answered! After a few boring weeks there was so much horrid celebrity fashion this week I had an impossibly hard time editing. So I didn’t. The list is long. So enjoy.
Let’s start with the color black. Normally this is a hard color to screw up, but some did with spectacular results…
Meow! This dominatrix outfit is so tight. And look, she has a rope (whip) around her neck! Rule of thumb…wear patent accessories, not clothes. The shoes don’t match either. If you are going to wear this outfit at the very least wear some spiky black heels.
She’s thinking: Want to hang with me boys?
From head-to-toe this look is a miss. In fact, I feel like I am looking at a red-carpet shot taken in 1986. Too much leather and too tacky. Nuff said.
She’s thinking: Tonight I’m going to party like it’s 1999.
Gorgeous girl, hideous dress. Yes, that’s flesh you are seeing. Not so much.
She’s thinking: Wait, did you see this part?
Too short and too tight. What else is new?
She’s thinking: I can’t breathe!
At first glance I seriously thought this was Tyra. They are becoming the same person! Yowza! Those are some serious thighs. Look, mine are not in peak form these days either which is why you would never catch me in leggings with a short ruffle top. Talk about adding junk to your trunk!
She’s thinking: I can’t believe Perez Hilton calls me a tranny. I don’t get it!
Who’s afraid of Virginia Bates? I am! That’s a whole lot of look and lace! Too many ruffles with a too long floral overcoat? Who wears their pajamas in public? I mean adults of course. The belt, the necklace, the purple suede booties…it’s all too much!
She’s thinking: No, I didn’t just roll out of bed and grabbed a housecoat!
Black and White done wrong…
She may be getting great reviews for her acting, but not for this outfit! I’m at a loss, really. A white Hammer-time silk jumpsuit over black lace? Am I seeing this correctly? Tom really is turning her into an alien!
She’s thinking: It’s so hard to be so misunderstood.
Now on to some more colorful mishaps…
Oh how I love this! Heidi’s having a fashion mishap. Who ever thought that possible? The woman who usually looks amazing wearing anything really blew it this time. I don’t get this combination at all. It doesn’t match…not even close.
She’s thinking: OK, so I’m having an auf day!
Ciaro? Hoochie Coochie! Talk about a lot of look! This outfit is an abomination on so many levels. It’s too stringy, unflattering and too short! The shoes are not helping matters either. Unless you are a size zero, back away from the fringe.
She’s thinking: Estoy tan caliente maldita!
For an 18 year-old this outfit is all wrong. It’s too old and cheap looking. However, she still has time to figure out she needs a stylist, so all hope is not lost. She looks so uncomfortable. It’s sad actually. Don’t even get me started on the hair…or the shoes!
She’s thinking: Why does everyone tell me I look like Lindsay Price from the 90210 years?
Here’s a surprise!
It’s not so much a surprise that she’s here, because she is…a lot. But Juliette looks great! Which is truly shocking. So I had to give her props for a job well done! We didn’t know she had it in her. Now the bar and our expectations are raised. Kudos.
She’s thinking: I’m so pretty!
– Lauren Dimet Waters
Photos: WireImageSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40
Tags: Alejandra Guzman, Anna Maria Perez de Tagle, bad fashion, Beyonce, celebrities, celebrity fashion, Heidi Klum, Juliette Lewis, Katie Holmes, Malin Akerman, Nicole Scherzinger, Star Jones, Tichina Arnold, Virginia Bates, WTF Was She Thinking