He Said/She Said. The Oscar Version

March 9, 2010 • Magazine

Amanda Seyfried

He Said: This Armani Privee look was too much dress for the diminutive actress.  The structure and volume of the gown quite literally “dwarfed” her and the color made her looked washed out in HDTV. To be honest, I thought that this look was a little too much like the White Witch from the Chronicles of Narnia – minus the hair, a critical part of the overall look. The simple lines of the dress really demanded major texture and volume in the hairstyle – as well as a major “statement necklace”, even a borrowed one. 

She Said: I loved Amanda in this dress! I thought she looked like an angel. In fact I liked this Armani Privee dress on her much better than I did on JLo. I do agree she needed a little more volume to her hair, but I think a necklace would have competed with the delicate bodice of the gown.

 Faith -hill -oscar-2010
Faith Hill

He Said: The lace inset on the bodice and the sky-high high lace-lined slit looked more honky tonk cowgirl than glam goddess of the silver screen. The satin band at the sweetheart neckline of the strapless gown made it look in ¾ and half-body shots like she forgot to put her gown on and left the house in a one-piece lace foundation garment a la The Women.

She Said: I couldn't agree more. This dress was gawd awful. It was better suited for the CMA's than the Oscars. Ticky-tacky. All she needed was a cowboy hat and a stripper pole in her boudoir. The dress she changed into for the Vanity Fair after party was a huge improvement.

Helen Mirren

He Said: Helen Mirren wore a  lilac ruched tulle Badgeley Mischka that looked like a dried out sachet from your grandmother’s lingerie drawer.

She Said: I have nothing to add. Well said. Wait…she's a wonderful actress.


Miley Cyrus

He Said: Miley Cyrus wore another underwear as outerwear look…

She Said: Don't even get me started on Miley Cyrus! First of all her tan lines were not hidden well under her orange spray tan. Secondly the bodice of her lingerie gown was way too tight. Lastly she is incapable of standing up straight, probably for fear of her chest popping out of her gown. Her hunched shoulders made her look odd and was all I could notice. Now to be fair she is only 17, but she should dress a little more age appropriate and wear clothes that fit. Somehow I have a feeling she is going down the same path as one of Tiger's rejects. Class it up Miley.

Jennifer Lopez

He Said: J.Lo’s Armani Privee gown with spillover bodice and side swept train looked like a freeway off ramp to “the land that fashion forgot” in a sparkly pale pink fabric that looked like a store bought Disney princess costume for Halloween and made her look as big as Disney Symphony Hall. The dress actually looked like two looks sewn together down the middle – Jessica Rabbit on the left and  J. Lo’s dream quineanera dress on the right.

She Said: I hated this dress on JLo! She is already a bit hippy so why would she add volume to that part of her body? I thought perhaps she was hiding her twins under that dress. It's like Jenny wore the block. From the neck up she looked beautiful, however.

Mariah Carey

She Said: I want to like what she wears but I'm afraid she just has a huge ego and little class. How is she always manages to look cheap? That thigh high slit and low cut dress were just too much in one dress. Pick one or the other! I call this a TooToo dress. It's too low-cut, too high-cut and too tight. She's also wearing too much jewelry. Is the broach on the hip necessary? When is she going to accept that she's shaped like most of us? It's unrealistic for her to believe she is a skinny minny size zero. Deal with it.

He Said: I agree. It’s like lips OR eyes in beauty. You can’t go short and low cut at the same time! 

Sarah Jessica Parker

She Said: I know SJP got hammered for her dress, but I adored the Chanel Couture number. Yes, this runway look is a little overwhelming for the demonstrative actress, but I still can't help it, I loved it. That neckline was to die for. Now as for her spray tan? It was a bit much and sadly made her look older in hi-def. Her massive bun with extensions only gave the critics fuel.

He Said: I absolutely loved SJP in her Chanel Couture dress. Unlike Diane Kruger, she to
tally managed to make an iconic Chanel look entirely her own. You can’t deny that it was pure fashion, but Diane just blended into the background in her Chanel like any model on the runway. SJP, on the other hand, was SJP who just happened to be in Chanel that night. The dress was divine and as perfectly balanced as a Sergio Calatrava cantilevered building. 

Charlize Theron

He Said: It’s no surprise that she wore Dior, but Charlize Theron looked absolutely amazing in her gown. I know everyone hated the “boob blossoms” but I thought the dress was pure magic. She looked like she fell out of an Irving Penn photograph for Bazaar under Diana Vreeland. A lesser actress could not have pulled it off and would have looked like a cheap copy of Marilyn Monroe singing Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.  Wait – didn’t Madonna already do that?  Whatever – you know what I mean. 

She Said: Sorry, but I am going to have to agree with the masses on this one. I didn't care for the placement of the Cinnabons over the chest area. I also think satin looks like a wrinkled heap on the red carpet. Mind you, she has a slammin' bod and if anyone can pull off this gown, it's her! On a lesser actress it would have looked horrendous! Can you imagine this on Mariah Carey? Scary.

– Joseph Ungoco and Lauren Dimet Waters

Photos: WireImage

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One Response to He Said/She Said. The Oscar Version

  1. Ally says:

    You are both hilarious! The comments are well-read and so true! This totally made my day 🙂

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