Joseph: Easily the Best Dressed of the night. The Versace dress was flawlessly constructed and she looked every bit the movie star. She also showed the tartlets – umm, I mean starlets – that covered up can be sexy too!
Lauren: I have to agree. Other than the fact she is a tad too thin, she was the evening’s Jessica Rabbit. Sorry Reese. Who would have thought you could successfully match your lipstick and bag to the red of this dress? For the novice this could have spelled disaster, but Angelina was FLAWLESS. My pick for Best Dressed of the evening as well.
Joseph: Another of my best dressed for the evening. She’s the new Tilda Swinton. Her Nina Ricci dress was pure fashion and she looked every bit the femme fatale!
Lauren: I don’t know. This black, cutout dress to me was so expected. She looks like her Dragon Tattoo character, scary. You shouldn’t look like you want to kick some ass on the red carpet. I would have loved to have seen her in something less severe and dramatic. You know, really throw us a curve ball. She also could have used a little jewelry. Too plain.
Joseph: She gets my fashion fashion award for the evening. I remembered this Monique Lhullier dress from the spring collections last September but I have to say that I didn’t think there was a Hollywood actress who possessed a strong enough fashion sense to wear it. I love the shape and the liquid ink print was just the breath of fresh air that the red carpet has needed for several seasons.
Lauren: Seriously? I HATED this dress. It was NOT for the red carpet. The cut is beautiful, but the tie-tie just didn’t do it for me and was so inappropriate for the event. For a magazine shoot, I agree this dress is beautiful…but it’s too editorial for an awards show. Sorry Joseph.
Joseph: Finally, a plus size girl who got it right! You can’t just take a dress off the runway and make it in a bigger size. This was clearly designed with her figure in mind and she looked great. The color looks amazing on her skin. Melissa McCarthy should have taken a cue from her instead of going to Badgley Mischka Tent and Awning. Their branding people should have advised them against extending their brand into that category.
Lauren: I have to agree with you on every point. She looks fantastic and all plus-sized women should take a cue from her. The color and the cut were spot on. More than that, she was enjoying her time in the limelight. Well done.
Joseph: Easily one of my worst dressed for the evening. The green beading looked like Astroturf. Did she think she was going to a foot ball game? As for her hair and makeup, Lady Bunny called and she wants her look back.
Lauren: More like Peggy Bundy called and wants her look back. At least from the head up. Yes, the dress was a gardening nightmare and the top and skirt portion did not seem to belong together. I expect Zooey to look young and quirky. Not drag queen and scary. I wouldn’t say she was my Worst Dressed pick (Lea Michele gets that), but her tuxedo nails were the best part of her look.
Joseph: Somewhere in the Winter family a naked Barbie doll is standing in a roll of toilet paper. Seriously, who advises these young actresses?
Lauren: You and I will never agree on young fashion. You are so mean to young starlets Joseph! I think this dress is adorbs on her. Totally age appropriate and fun. An adult would look cray cray.
Joseph: Black swan meets Exxon Valdeze. This dress had too much going on and it didn’t feel at all fashion forward.
Lauren: Bah! Very accurate description. I’m over her. Feathers are so last year and she doesn’t have the cleavage to properly fill this out. She’s too young to be wearing something this old. Lighten up sister.
Joseph: For a quinceanera dress it’s simply divine. For the red carpet, it’s a disaster!
Lauren: Again. I totally agree (this is no fun! I like it when we disagree). This dress is perfect for an evening at the Captain’s table and then the Ledo deck for cocktails on a Caribbean cruise, but NOT the red carpet.
Joseph: This dress is breathtaking. She and Angelina both sported the slash of red – and asymmetry – to their best advantage. Lanvin is simply the best for runway dresses that translate well to the red carpet. The side bustle is feminine yet not too fussy.
Lauren: First I want to say, if I had lost my baby weight this quickly (bitch, she had her baby after me!) I would wear something a lot sexier and form-fitting. In fact, I might have hit the red carpet naked, but I digress. I did like this dress, but I didn’t love it. I mean why would she want to visually add weight to her hip with that protruding side pleat?
Joseph: She looks like she stripped an ottoman to make her dress with a Holly Hobby sewing machine. The fit is completely unflattering and the color is completely off for this season.
Lauren: Color great, fit and fabric wrong. I hardly noticed this sheath because I was so in awe of her from the neck up. She is just stunning. I hardly noticed the dress which IS pretty dreadful and she should have at least worn a jaw-dropping diamond necklace.
Joseph: Why? Why? Why would you even attempt green sequins after Angelina Jolie did it so perfectly several seasons ago? Everything is wrong here – the color, the fabric, and the cut!
Lauren: Yes, on so many levels this dress failed. She looks like a green Big Bird. This deep of a v-neck on someone so tall and lanky is uetterly unflattering. A great choker would have helped break up that long line. She also needed a brighter lipstick. Hair, makeup, dress…it’s all bad. But, congratulations on the win!
Joseph: We get it – you’re curvy! Enough already. You finally found a designer willing to work with you. Now try to work with more than one silhouette.
Lauren: I agree. This was so expected. Show us something new! I beg of you!
Joseph: I wanted to love this. I actually do as a fashion item, but she looked like the Ghost of Christmas Don’t on the red carpet. Ditto for Shailene Woodley, in Marchesa. I get the ethereal otherworldly thing, but do it in blush or nude tones. Grey just looks dead on the red carpet.
Lauren: I’m on the fence about this dress. It is fashion forward and a bit of a risk which I appreciate. She totally worked it on the red carpet and with the light behind it, there was an otherworldly glow to the skirt. The back of the dress was also beautiful. Is it a Golden Globes red carpet dress? Maybe not, but I still enjoyed seeing something so different and unexpected.
Joseph: First off – she needed to borrow some proper undergarments from the wardrobe department at Pan Am. The pearls kind of creeped me out. She looked like an albino version of Mystique from the X-men.
Lauren: I agree. This look was bad all-around. Take note Jessica, Spanx are not the enemy. The more I look at this dress and her look from head-to-toe, I hate it.
Joseph: Wrong awards show. You dress like Big Bird for the daytime Emmys – not the Golden Globes. Easily one of my Worst Dressed of the evening.
Lauren: I’m not feeling it either. Not sure I would say it was my worst dressed pick, but it did fall flat.
– Lauren Dimet Waters & Joseph Ungoco
Photos: Style.comSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40
Tags: 69th Golden Globe Awards Red Carpet, Amanda Peet, Angeline Jolie, Ariel Winter, Evan Rachel Wood, Freida Pinto, Jessica Chastain, Joseph Ungoco, Laura Dern, Natalie Portman, Octavia Spencer, Piper Perabo, Rooney Mara, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Second City Style He Said/She Said, Second City Style Red Caprte Review, Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel