Ah, award season, how we have missed you! Joseph and I actually watched the Golden Globes together, but we talked through most of it. Whoops. However, we both did our due diligence and reviewed and scrutinized the photos for hours! And here we go. The good, the bad and the truly horrifying…
He Said: This is WAY too much dress for her to handle. I like the minimalist top, but Calvin Klein Collection always seems to do this better in lighter fabrics. The fabric looks really heavy at the bottom and doesn’t match the light simplicity of the top. The color – something like rotting eggplant – doesn’t flatter her skintone at all.
She Said: I don’t know. I rather liked it. It’s such a well-needed departure from her usual ethereal look. Wearing this she could actually meet a man to date rather than a child. I don’t like how wrinkled the bodice became and this picture was taken on the red carpet! On her way in! Imagine how it would have looked if she had won and had to go up to the stage to accept a Golden Globe? But, thankfully Adele won.
He Said: This is essentially the same skirt as Taylor Swift’s but in a much lighter color and fabric. The proportions are right and she was one of the few whose sweetheart neckline fit correctly. The bodice – not the cups – should be tight.
She Said: Call me jaded, but we have seen this dress at least 100 times on the red carpet, no? It’s beautiful and she looks amazing…but it’s not memorable.
He Said: This outfit seems more appropriate to a ladies charity dinner in Dallas – NOT a Hollywood red carpet! The cutout floral appliqués seem altogether too casual for such a formal event.
She Said: I’m inclined to agree with you however, I just keep staring at her flawless skin and amazing body. Didn’t she just have a baby? I hate her! I think she looks stunning…less the dress. I didn’t even realize it was Sienna Miller. I had to ask who it was. She looks better than ever. Bitch.
He Said: I love this dress – just not here. The flame orange – you know I LOVE orange – is completely lost on the red carpet, making the hi-low effect disappear. It looks like legs and a head just floating. You cannot fault the fit, but I just think this was a bad choice for this carpet.
She Said: I am so over the hi-low hemline myself. In fact, I’ve always hated it, but I do love this color on her. I think the dress is beautiful on her, just maybe not for the Golden Globes. I also abhor the shoes. Too match-matchy. Ack.
He Said: I am so completely over the hi-low trend OF LAST YEAR – spring summer 2012 to be exact. I expect to see Spring Summer 2013 trends on a red carpet in January! I just want to run up with scissors and chop off all the point d’esprit. The remaining little black dress might be a little simple – and short – but it would be infinitely more interesting than this Frankenstein of a dress.
She Said: I hate everything about this dress! The top is boring and the skirt makes me angry. This looks like a Project Runway project that Michael Kors would have ripped apart! This might be one of the worst of the evening. A sheer skirt is simply infuriating. I want to run up with scissors too! But I would get arrested.
He Said: Easily the best dressed of the night. While the black and white trend – of Spring Summer 2012 – seems a little dated, you simply cannot fault Ms. Moore – or Mr. Ford. She looks amazing. Simple, classic, not too tight – all the things that younger actresses should note. Also, I don’t know if they had an “in” with the production designers for the evening, but her look totally fit with the retro 60s vibe of the sets. I really hope that long sleeves for evening are here for while – for women of any age!
She Said: Well this is boring. I totally concur. This was possibly my favorite of the evening. Tom Ford can do no wrong in my opinion and Julianne Moore could not have looked more beautiful. Her skin, hair and makeup were flawless. I disagree with you on the staleness of black and white. Trust me, it’s going to be huge again for Spring 2013, maybe a little more mod, but back!
He Said: I get it! She’s fifty. She looks fantastic, but this bodice seems as old as she is. She had so many other Armani Prive options that would seem so much more current if not futuristic. If it’s about staying relevant, I don’t see the point of wearing a dress inspired by old La Perla underwear…
She Said: Bah! That was funny Joseph! I really didn’t like this dress. It makes her seem older than 50! I wish she would go with another designer once in a while. I love her loyalty, but this gown is just off.
He Said: Another disaster in brown – see Taylor Swift. The fit, the proportions, the volume – they are all completely wrong for her body. The shoulder of the dress cutting her ink in half just looks ridiculous. Take some notes from Angelina Jolie about dressing over – or around – your body art. She always gets it right.
She Said: You clearly don’t watch her show ‘Girls’ because if you were an avid watcher like myself you would know that she has cleaned up really well. She is not exactly a fashion inspiration, nor does she have the bod (which I have seen naked far too much). I guess I’m saying the bar wasn’t set high so I thought she looked as good as one could have expected. I mean she is wearing Zac Posen. I’m sure she was laughing about that! But I agree, not crazy about this gown.
He Said: Flawless – like an angel from the heavens. This is the sort of dress that you usually see on model slashers (model/actress/arm candy) at red carpet events and catty self loathing women like that Talking Scarecrow from Fashion Po**** diss. In this case, one of the most “real” up and coming actresses “lives” in this dress. It doesn’t swallow her up. She totally owns her red carpet moment! Let’s hope that she continues to push real FASHION on the red carpet this season.
She Said: I disagree. I love the bottom half of this gown, but the top didn’t fit her properly. It resembles doilies to me. But her makeup was stunning and I loved her hair. The dress? Not so much.
He Said: I don’t know where to start… I guess that, first of all, you shouldn’t take fashion cues from anyone whose initials are KK. The sky high slit seems very last year – see Angelina Jolie. The keyhole neckline is clearly important this season, but several other actresses did it much better – see Kate Hudson. You do the math. Keyhole + lace = slutty.
She Said: Oh I know where to start! This whole look is making my eyes bleed. It’s so contrived and obvious. That leg is vulgar. You know who she looks like? Snooki trying to do Kim Kardashian trying to do Angelina Jolie. She even has the poof and orange fake tan down. I’m sorry, but this whole look was a big fat giant fail.
He Said: This is keyhole done right! Take note Ms. Longoria. The long sleeves and lack of slit make the keyhole the focus and the embellishment brings the eye right up to the face – where it should be!
She Said: I have two words to sum this up: STUN-NING! She killed it! Her look from head-to-toe is perfection. I don’t know who her stylist is, but I am sure their phone is ringing off the hook this morning. One of my favorites of the evening.
He Said: Normally, I am not a fan of red on red (carpet), but – just this once- I’ll make an exception! This dress looks amazing on her. The Versace team is really the best at doing fittings on the fly for red carpet events. I’ve never seen a Versace dress walk the carpet that didn’t look like the actress was sewn into it minutes before.
She Said: I agree with you. She just had a baby so the draping on this dress is perfect for a nursing mom too. Mind you, she had better be wearing at least 3 pairs of Spanx or I am going to kill myself, but she looks really beautiful. I love her edgy makeup too.
He Said: You know I love couture – especially on the right actress on the red carpet but I’m really conflicted here. The shade of red/orange doesn’t do her justice and just barely contrasts with the red carpet. Everyone is all abuzz about the retro bodice. I think the “shelf” – and what’s on them – look just fine. The construction of this dress is museum quality. I would love to see this dress in a ballroom or on a grand staircase. I just don’t think it works here. Then again, if Charlize Theron were wearing it, I would probably love it unequivocally.
She Said: Look even if Charlize were wearing this gown it still would have done awful things for her chest. Did you catch a side-view of this number? Nobody wants pointy tits. Ever. I absolutely hate everything about this gown. The color, the fit…and she needed a necklace. Just a delicate one. Remember that sexy Calvin Klein number she wore was it last year? That was stunning. This wasn’t.
He Said: Well… how to begin? Did Donna Karan and Calvin Klein’s head designers switch places in some fashion Freaky Friday moment? This draping is so totally un-Calvin. Where is the clean, minimalist design? She and Taylor Swift should switch dresses and then switch labels inside them. Actually, I don’t know who would look good in this dress… Very difficult color – ice blue (to paraphrase Dame Maggie Smith in Gosford Park). This shade of blue is so completely associated – to fashion folk – with Grace Kelly accepting her Oscar for The Country Girl in her ice Edith Head gown. All of the existing photos of it are black-and-white, but every fashion editor worth his or her salt imagines it to be this color. The comparison does not flatter Ms. Chastain.
She Said: OMG! I simply crack up every time I look at her in this gown. Can you say “saggy boobs?” Then add some side boob and a dump in your drawers and that pretty much sums it up. How could her stylist or anyone who likes her allow her walk the red carpet like this? This is unfortunately dreadful and sad. This is going to be a hard one to live down and I was shocked to learn this was Calvin Klein. Seriously? Seriously? And don’t even get me started on her hair. I can’t. I just can’t.
He Said: I want to love this dress. I would love this dress on Nicole Kidman. I have to be honest. I think it’s the hair. The pixie haircut really calls for a more feminine silhouette. Audrey Hepburn entrusted her gamine looks to Hubert de Givenchy who never failed to make her boyish figure look feminine – even with short hair.
She Said: I hear ya! I have never understood the fuss about Anne Hathaway. I just don’t find her stunning in any way, shape or form. However, I loved her acceptance speech last night, but I digress. The dress. Um, I’m sorta bored by it. Neither here nor there. Just blase. I do agree that with a pixie cut she really needed a frillier, girlier gown (think Marchesa).
He Said: Simply DIVINE!!! This dress isn’t just fashion – it’s BEYOND fashion! Don’t get me wrong – I do know that red carpet season is all about cheap knockoffs of red carpet looks for prom and the upcoming wedding season. I absolutely DO NOT want to see $200 versions of this dress on 17 year-olds, nor do I want to see it in white polyester satin. Ms Kidman is in a class by herself and I applaud her bold choices – all of them!
She Said: I totally disagree. I hate this dress on her! She is too old for the exposed (or thinly veiled)midriff and it is too severe for her. Her face is starting to resemble The Joker too. It’s literally frozen. I am so sad to say, but she is NOT aging gracefully and has been making serious fashion mistakes lately. I fear too we will soon see ABS knock-offs of this dress and it’s going to be scary. Really scary.
He Said: OK – the fit is flawless. See Claire Danes. However, this is too many pages out other people’s books – Angelina Jolie, J. Lo, and even Halle herself. The melon base color is right on trend with the season but the cut of this dress doesn’t feel fresh – or modern. Is this a PR move? Is there some new hideous tabloid headline I’m supposed to be ignoring while I try to figure out this dress? I’m just confused.
She Said: Halle has become a caricature of herself. We get she has a slamming body that just keeps getting better with age, but does she have to be so obvious about it? This dress is like a giant “f-you” to every woman in America. I just find it vulgar and ugly. Then again I have never been a fan of Versace. She could stand to wear something a little less obvious and more understated and let her um, body of work speak for itself.
-Lauren Dimet Waters & Joseph Ungoco
Photos: People.com, NY Daily News, Glamour.com, PopSugar
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Tags: Celebrity Fashion Critique, Golden Globes Best Dressed, Golden Globes Celebrity Style, Golden Globes Worst Dressed, He Said She Said Golden Globes Red Carpet Review, Second City Style He Said She Said