We have so much more to say! Right Joseph?
There were also the “Also Rans”…they may have lost the Golden Globe award or simply presented, but did they merit Best or Worst Dressed? Let’s see what Lauren and Joseph have to say and then we’ll know if it really was “an honor just to be nominated.”
JOSEPH: This dress is a car wreck – literally. It’s like two street racers Tokyo Drifted into one big mashup. Seriously, I’m ordering furniture for my new place and I wouldn’t put these fabrics on a footstool. I get Mary Kantrantzou – I get the whole Greek in London thing. I totally get antique influences on modern design. What I don’t get is this otherwise clean, almost classic Balenciaga-inspired design 3D-ified with upholstery fabric. I would have loved this in all white, all black or black-and-white.
LAUREN: I am truly shocked by this unfortunate misstep by the usually unflappable Kerry Washington. Even her hair and makeup are all wrong. This was one of the mostly surprising #fails of the evening. You are correct Joseph, had this dress been all white or black and white, it might have been a winner.
JOSEPH: Eh… not really a Best Actress Dress, more of a Presenter dress. I mean it’s nice and it fits, but it seems sort of uninspired – and uninspiring. Actually, to be honest, it makes her look a little short waisted and thick around the middle.
LAUREN: BOMBSHELL! Are you serious Joseph? I think she looks amazing and glamorous! Her hair and makeup are also perfection. This is not the awkward little girl from “Man on the Moon.”
JOSEPH: Right? The pressure was “off” as a presenter… then how did she make my top 5 Best Dressed? Honestly, it’s not just that the dress is Couture and clearly took years of hand work to create. She just carries her clothes so well – and when you give her a dress like this the overall effect is – well – spectacular!
LAUREN: I love that she is a risk-taker, but this dress was the wrong risk. She was drowning in a pond of flowers. She’s so beautiful and has a killer body, so this dress doesn’t do her any favors. Hated it. She needs another red dress moment.
JOSEPH: Jane is just perfection in this. Just the right amount of bare and she know how to work this dress. The proportions of bare to covered are positively Vitruvian!
LAUREN: Wait. She’s 77? Granted, she’s wearing Versace, but how many women this age can even consider Versace? That said, I need to start drinking/taking what she’s taking now! Or was it a deal with the devil? Either way, I’ll gave what she’s having.
JOSEPH: Amazing – definitely one of my Best Dressed of the evening. The team at Valentino have done such a marvelous job of evolving the design DNA of the company and this is a perfect example. Plus she has the best arm candy – Hugh Dancy!
LAUREN: I thought I’d be alone loving this dress. Frankly I’m surprised we agreed on this one. It’s a bit Downton Abbey with a modern twist and the pops of blue and green add visual interest and depth. I wish the top fit her a little better, but it’s my only complaint. I’d wear this. In a heartbeat.
JOSEPH: Now this is a red carpet dress! I love an unadulterated runway look on the red carpet. She carries it as well as any model. The proportion is unrealistic for real life, but here it’s just divine! And the fabric is just as smooth and wrinkle free as the faces of her much older fellow nominees…
LAUREN: This was one of my favorite gowns of the evening. Top 5 for sure. She took my breath away. Simple, yet over-the-top and her hair and makeup were the perfect complement. I’m glad she kept the jewelry and accessories simple. Take note Selma Hayek.
JOSEPH: This is super chic – for a Hollywood Hills cocktail party if you had to drive yourself there. I love the “idea” of pants and the top is amazing, but it really should have been a whole YSL Le Smoking ensemble. It just looks unfinished. And it’s January. Even in LA I wear fur in January – OK until 9 am when it warms up…
LAUREN: OK, so it’s Lanvin, but I’m sorry…a jumpsuit is just not appropriate on a red carpet. However, from the back it’s divine. The big bow is a true Lanvin statement. Even so, not for the red carpet. Hair and makeup? Fantastic.
JOSEPH: I love the menswear inspired cummerbund, but I could do without the thigh high slit. You’d think she would have avoided that given the global Twitterstorm that Angie started with her overexposed leg. I do love the neckline and kudos to her for not overborrowing in the jewel department just because she can.
LAUREN: Snooze. And what is with the thigh? I had the same thought Joseph…didn’t her nemesis Angie do this? We get it. You have a thigh too. Now put it away. I’m just bored with her style. It’s usually a black dress and…sorry, I just fell asleep.
JOSEPH: Conflicted – seriously conflicted. My readers know that I’m a huge fan of the bateau neckline – specifically because it’s flattering on almost everyone. Case in point – and it’s not even cluttered with borrowed jewels.
LAUREN: Get a tailor! Joseph, seriously? I’m aghast this is Zac Posen. I had to blink a few times to make sure I read that correctly. She’s obviously loosing weight, so why not make sure the dress fits? Had it been tailored I might not hate it so much. Granted, it’s better than most of her red carpet looks. Oh and I’m thankful she slicked back her ridiculous pageboy bangs. Love her though…just not her style and need to be topless.
JOSEPH: If the fashion pressure is supposed off for presenters, why do they try so hard – and fail utterly? I’ll admit that this dress would have me swooning over the technically mastery of its construction on a 5’10” double zero with a B minus cup, but, on a real woman, it’s just too much or not enough – fabric, that is. Want to know what a difference an inch makes? Bringing the neckline in two inches on either side and I’d be madly in love with this. As it is, this is a fashion crash and burn!
LAUREN: Ack. Versace. She’s one sneeze away from disaster. I’m assuming sales at Fabletics have skyrocketed though.
JOSEPH: I loved this dress – the first 3 times I saw it in different colors. This is a beautiful dress – classic perhaps eventually, but not enough time has passed yet for that to be true. I always say that red is tricky on the red carpet – even with the green foliage to contrast. You run the risk of just blending into the carpet – and she does.
LAUREN: Stunning. What more can you say? This woman takes risks that pay off. Last year she went edgy and this year full on glam. The dress reportedly weighed 40 pounds! Whoa.
JOSEPH: Whoa – is Cougars coming back to TV? This dress is NC-17. I definitely do not want to see this dumbed down on June brides. Is she channeling Mariah? Might be better to put this butterfly back into her cocoon.
LAUREN: Look! We have queso! JLo is the epitome of cheese in this costume. Please for the love of God, why must you always give me reason for my hand to meet my forehead? You are over 45, girl. Give it a rest! I’m not suggesting you dress your age, just a bit closer to it. Thank you very much.
– Joseph Ungoco & Lauren Dimet Waters
Photos: Just JaredSee the Top Ten Summer 2016 Trends for Women Over 40
Tags: Allison Williams, Armani Prive, best and worst dressed, Calvin Klein, celebrity style, Claire Danes, Emma Stone, Giambattista Valli, Golden Globes 2015, He Said/She Said, Jane Fonda, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Joseph Ungoco, Kate Hudson, Kerry Washington, Lanvin, Lauren Dimet Waters, Lena Dunham, Lupita Nyongo, Maison Valentino, Mary Katzantrou, Ralph Lauren, red carpet, Reese Witherspoon, Saint Laurent, Taylor Schilling, Versace, YSL Le Smoking ensemble, Zac Posen, Zuhair Murad