For the most part this was a pretty good week fashionwise…due mostly in part to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Annual Costume Institute Gala Monday night. However, there were some duds. So let’s take a look.
Comment: Wow (and I don’t mean that in a good way). This doesn’t even look like Jessica Simpson, but apparently it is. Dark hair and big knockers. It’s just wrong. I’m guessing nobody noticed, but her dress is too long. She’s thinking: Look what you’re missing Nick! (Try to be a little less obvious.)
I don’t know about you, but I have lost my appetite. Can you imagine eating there? Who goes out like this? Ick, ick and double ick. Hey, this isn’t one of those sushi restaurants that serves on naked women is it? They’re thinking: (absolutely nothing).
Comment: I actually like her. I’m not sure why, but I do. However if you are trying to sell a book called "How To Be Sexy" then maybe you should dress at least a little sexy. She’s the queen of sexy and I’m guessing could have pulled one of a number of outfits out of her closet. She’s thinking: I can’t believe I forgot about this book signing. I never even got my Starbucks. I am so firing my agent.
Comment: Now what would a worst-dressed list be without Paula Abdul? You have to give her an A for consistency. For starters the suit is too large for her and the pants too long giving her the effect of being 2 feet tall. She has been taken it seems with unexplainable strings of fabric hanging down the front of her fashionable ensembles. I do like her bag, however. She’s thinking: Straight up? I am standing straight up!
Comment: Bandeau tops look good on very few. Period. This dress is giving Denise the saggy boob effect. That’s never a good thing. Especially when one is over the age of 25.The vertical pattern isn’t helping matters either. She’s thinking: "Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to a fro…"
Comment: Really. What can one say? This looks like the girl version of Spinal Tap. Better yet, Candy Slice of Candy Slice and the Slicers from ‘Gilda Live’? The skit where Gilda plays a drugged-out punk alter-ego and sings a song dedicated to Mick Jagger called ‘Gimme Mick’. Well there you have it. What’s with the knee pads? I’m afraid to ask. She’s thinking: My band f’ing rocks!