This week Maxim’s 8th Annual Hot 100 Party in the Meatpacking District in New York, brought loads of L.A. tackiness to the Big Apple and tons of great material to Second City Style.
Is she for real with that pose? Seriously. Do people really do this? The dress is just the worst, but works (it ) for her
with the over-processed and fried hair. She’s thinking: Who cares if nobody knows who I am? I’m HOT damnit!
Comment: This chick could be stunning. For real. She needs to buy some pretty clothes that fit. The girls can’t breath! Something about this awful getup makes her appear 40 instead of her real age (19 right?). Tackiness perhaps? She’s thinking: Paris is going to jail! It’s my turn in the spotlight.
Comment: Avril honey, you are attending a party for Maxim’s 100 hottest, could you at least try to look sexy, hot or feminine? I suppose trading in her Chucks for pink Minnie Mouse shoes is a step in the right direction. Baby steps. You should have seen this mess from behind. The vest is lace. Sorta Bay City Rollers meets the Go Go’s. She’s thinking: Bite me.
Is there really anything not annoying about her? The voice, the clothes. When it comes to cloying tackiness, nobody else compares. A leopard print headscarf? Axle Drescher’s coat might not have been too bad had she matched it with a skinny pant. The wide legs with (are those?) cowboys boots. Yeesch. She’s thinking: Brilliant! Nobody can see the Botox marks on my forehead.
Comment: Sorry cupcake, the dress had potential until I saw the skirt. Besides, you look so uncomfortable. Robotic if you will. The perfect dress for a wedding cake ornament, but for Cannes? Not so much. She’s thinking: I can not move, crack a smile or even pretend I’m not miserable.
First of all, what is Jessica Simpson doing at the Cannes Film Festival? Secondly, this was the best she could do? Words can not describe the visceral reaction I am having to her dress. Short in front and long in the back….hmm. Hated it. She’s thinking: What am I doing here?